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BEATING THE ODDS
As I write this Introduction, I can happily say that I have beat the odds – and rather handily. The latest statistics show that in the United States, life expectance for males is 73.2 years, down from 74.2 years in the prior study. In a recent study, women’s life expectancy dropped by .8 years from 79.9 years in 2020 to 79.1 years. So, at age 85, I have reached what the experts consider to be “Exceptional Longevity.” Thank You.
MENTOR AND GUIDE
Throughout my most recent forty-two years on this beautiful yet messy planet, I have taken on various roles, including that of a business owner with over 40 employees. Alongside providing employment, I have also acted as a mentor and guide to my staff, offering advice, guidance, and support for life’s challenges. This is a responsibility that I have gladly accepted, as I saw the need for it and wanted to help in any way. As a Deacon in a congregation of more than 700 families, a spouse of 63 years, a father, grandfather, and great-grandfather, I have heard and, by association, experienced the difficulties of single men and women desiring
a suitable partner and a longer- term relationship in what has become a mostly “hook up” culture. For those with a genuine desire for longevity, the sorting out process can be exhausting and have a high failure rate. Also, those who sincerely desire longevity are often accused of having “unreasonable expectations.”
I have heard the woes and blessings (more woes, of course, for these are the ones seeking advice on how to improve their relationships) of spouses (men and women) with every range of marital issues: infidelity,
incompatibility, lack of respect, not being appreciated, worry, fear, in-law issues, addictions, pregnancy, sexual dissatisfaction, and rebelliously troublesome children. Many of these were longer-term married people who had experienced some of these issues from the onset but never took steps to improve their situation. Some of these issues spread across the spectrum of second and third marriages with blended families. Additionally, I have provided pastoral visitations at jails and prisons and counseled people with fear, anxiety, scrupulosity, stress, depression, unhappiness, and pessimism issues.
IMPARTING WISDOM AND ADVICE
I live on both sides of the Pulpit. Formally preaching and always being pressed to impart wisdom and advice on a long list of issues we face in our present culture are areas in which I have extensive experience. My teenagers and yours are trying to navigate a world they did not create but find themselves living in. They do not realize that we, their parents and grandparents, are trying to do the same. Cultural changes are difficult to navigate, and many may differ from what is best for their well-being and ours.
Rebellion happens because teens’ needs, experiences, and behavioral patterns are much more influenced by social media than by family ties. This, too, is a reality that most adults in their families have difficulty relating to, which causes everyone’s patience to be short and stress to be high. Whether it be smartphone time and content, raging hormones, or just the frustration of being old enough to make some decisions in their life – our teens are torn between the culture and parents and grandparents
whose highest motives, for the most part, are love and wanting what is best for them. Like it or not, we are all a part of this current generation heavily tethered to our smartphones, and it is only getting worse. We can all use some abstinence, but the pull is so pervasive that we are going the other way. According to the latest statistics, Baby Boomers (1946-1964) spend 52% of their day on their smartphones. Gen X (1965-1979) and Millennials (1980-1994) spend 67% of their day, and Gen Z (1995-2012) spends 76% of their day on their smartphones. So,
instead of railing at teens for spending so much time on the phone, start by cutting your time back and showing an example that it can be done. Your teens will not believe it can be done because they see you as unable or unwilling to be more disciplined. You might want to make it a family project. Making time for family dinner or whatever meal is convenient at home or in a restaurant with the provision that everyone keeps their phone tucked away and allows it to take messages. (END SAMPLE)